A Year and A Day

(Ahhh the beginning of the roadtrip... whne it was fun and not torture....)

 

A Year. 365 days. Amazing how quickly they go by is it not? I haven’t ever had a blog go longer than a year. Rome was 3-4 months. London was a blur of 11 months. Texas… a year and counting?!? Texas is becoming one of the places that I have stayed the longest (besides Ashville of course). HWS is beating it at the moment as well, but a year there was 9 months with a month off for Christmas. I was three hours away from home cooking, and the rest of my possessions. Here it’s different. Although it has been 8 years since I have lived with my possessions. EIGHT years of opening my closet, or going to my bookshelf and thinking “crap… that’s in Ashville”. It’s getting old. I would like to have all of my clothes, all of my books, and all of my nerdy knickknacks in the same state. I guess they are in the same country as I am… which hasn’t always been the case!

(Some of my possessions packed and ready to go. Lucy holds a lot! I would like to point out that yes, I still have that comforter in my car in case I get stranded in a snow storm and I have to stay warm. My scrapper is in there as well. Its ridiculous but they just haven't come out yet.)

(I was so distraught that I didn't change my shoes before leaving so the Sperry's got left at home and the Crocs made the journey. I realized at Alex's house and it just wasn't worth going back)

I have re-read some of my blog as I have been going past the last year and re-evaluating life. (wow some of those posts are pathetic!! I am sorry for the torture!) I think I have been a little hard on Texas. (LITTLE being the key word?) Yes, it is crazy and an entirely different country down here. Yes, the gun talk is old and coming from a liberal Liberal Arts school I have to force myself to not roll my eyes a lot. Yes, everyone has a truck and the trees down here are bushes, not trees. (I think that is why the sky is so big and open. The trees are too short to block the view) But….. I am starting to like it. Not loving San Antonio yet. Not sure that will ever happen. But I am starting to like the bush trees, the cool rabbits, and sauntering cows. There are some things however that I will always hold against Texas:

1.       Stickers. I hate them. They hurt and prevent me from walking barefoot. They stick in my shoe laces and soccer ball. Not ok.

2.       It is (as Laurie would say) Hot as Hell down here.  Walking outside to oven hot heat is just as bad as having your breath taken away by the cold.

3.       The insects are gross. In the past year I have had a HUGE spider, sneaky scorpion, and a weird lizard all in my BATHROOM. This I am not ok with. Thankfully Jared is ok with squishing scorpions because I just stood on a stool and replayed “The Pearl” in my mind while freaking out over the welfare of my toes.

4.       Texans love for their flag and state is a little over the top. Just keep going back to the creepy lawyer “the laws of this country and this great state”… Texans first, Americans second.

5.       The Armada of Armadas on the highway is crazy. Its America conspicuous consumption at its finest. Of course Nissan Armadas are not the only crazy big cars on the highway… but I liked how there could be an Armada or Armadas J

6.       You can buy Texas shaped everything. And when I say everything… I mean everything. Also you can put a Texas flag on anything. And when I say anything… I mean anything.

7.       Not having real wings, or a Tim Hortans.

So it’s been 366 days since I was throwing crap into suitcases, crying and not convinced that I was actually leaving in the morning. Seems like yesterday and a lifetime ago at the same time. My job… still isn’t it. But on bad days when I want to stand on my cube and full-fledged three year old style tantrum, I remember working 4 jobs and having 12-16 hour days. (Yes 4 jobs at once. Chautauqua Ticketing, Athenaeum, TJMaxx, and Dog sitting/walking). It was survival mode and honestly I was barely surviving. And I was a monster. A 24/7/365 monster. No health insurance, barely a saving account, and zero life. So when I get the urge to scream at the top of my lungs I remember 1 year ago and feel better. I think I made the right choice. How lucky am I that I am 21 days away from turning 26 and I have zero regrets? I may take a long time to make a decision, and I may fight my decision with everything I have, but according to my track record I seem to make the right ones.  Would I have done things differently since Aug. 2012? Probably. But I haven’t messed up enough to regret anything. Not yet anyways!

I am getting better at change. I still remember pulling out of my driveway on the way to Geneva, in the back seat of the Subaru with an upset stomach and eyes full of tears. I was convinced that I wasn’t going to make it through college. Even worse is the moment that your parents ditch you and you are surrounded by piles of clothes, a mini fridge, two sketchy looking mattresses and a new roommate. (Thankfully I had the best roommate that a girl could ask for. OH my goodness did I luck out. SO thankful that Roomie was my roommate.) In that moment you are convinced that college is overrated and scary. 4 years since that moment I have moved across the Atlantic Ocean twice (one of those moves counts WAY more than the other) and halfway across the country once. I have a feeling that Im not done moving!

                                                            (what I moved to London with!)

 

I no longer have a problem packing my bags and going someplace new. (As long as there isn’t a Dragon Lady. I have never ever been so mad at my parents then I was during that skype date. They wouldn’t let me come home. And I was the only American who moved to London without her parents. It’s such a good story now though isn’t it? I laugh so hard every time I remember her screaming out the window that the fountain in the square was diabolical. Or the time the cable company came and she wouldn’t let them in the house because she didn’t like the look of their van)

Wow I am getting off topic aren’t I? Anyways I am pretty proud of myself. Im getting better! And I haven’t completely failed at anything yet. I still hate meeting people. Im so awkward and bad at it. Im not sure if I hate it, therefore I am bad at it… or I am bad at it, therefore I hate it? I miss people. That’s what I miss the most. College friends, old High school friends, and past co-workers. I could care less about being away from WNY, but I miss seeing friends. If any college friends are reading this… we need a reunion. It’s been 4 years now!

I have a good feeling about 26. Somehow I feel like it going to be awesome. I don’t know if it will beat 22 (that was a pretty epic year! 22 is the year to beat at the moment) but it’s going to be way better than the end of 23 through 25. I am kicking off year 26 in Rome… which will be the perfect way to start. I just have a really good feeling about this upcoming year/birthday.  

Im not sure where this post is going at this point! The past year has been good, scary, lonely, busy, exciting, and a breath of fresh air all at once! Im still not where I want to be, but I am at a better place then I was 367 days ago. Im not a monster 24/7 (Im sure I still have my moments!)

Easter yesterday was good! I went on the annual walk in the morning with Aunt & co. I walked Annabeth and it was fun. We couldn’t go as far as last year because we had reservations at noon. It was still a least a 5 mile walk! We all showered quickly and went out to brunch at a cool place in the Pearl. I ate octopus that wasn’t covered in breading! It was hard! I like it but I don’t like seeing the little suction cups on the tiny tentacles. Argh! That is what the batter is for… to hide the octopus parts!

10 Random Thoughts From the Past Year:

1.       I have learned how to drive in traffic! Im not scared of my commute anymore!  Argh I hated the first few weeks. Driving here still sucks, but its not scary. I still miss back roads with the radio blaring and the windows all of the way down

2.       The cows have seen me do really dumb things. They are growing on me. I still think they are dumb, but they are big, gentle giants. I no longer shout that I love hamburgers at them… J

3.       I have learned that the stereotypical cactus with the three arms don’t reside in Texas. Apparently it’s a Arizona thing?

4.       I am still not a fan of tacos for every meal. Breakfast tacos haven’t grown on me at all. Although I don’t really like breakfast…

5.       My cube isn’t as depressing as it used to be. I decorated the crap out of it… but even besides that, it’s not bad. It’s just like having a desk but with people around. I love who I work with. (Not quite as much as Laurie, but I still like them a lot)

6.       I feel like my brain is being drained of everything I learned in college. Someone will bring up art and my noggin is foggy. I can’t think or remember anything until it’s WAY too late. What is happening?!?! I need to read more art books!

7.       I still miss real grass. The soft kind that you can lay in, and walk through without shoes on. I never have been so appreciative of NY grass then I am since coming down here. In London I missed grass, but the parks had lush, soft, friendly grass. Here it is mean, pokey and painful.

(even rest stops in Tennessee have nicer grass than Texas)  

8.       I haven’t said yall yet… and I don’t plan on caving anytime soon.

9.       I think I have conquered the fear of living in big houses by myself. Im finally not nervous at night at the ranch… even without the dogs! I think Watson has a lot to do with it… but Im going to give myself some credit too!

10.   It is confirmed that I am not a runner. I have been trying to like it since Oct…. and it’s just not working. I hate it. I need to find a soccer team or something. I like how I feel after runs… just not while running.

Ok this random post is officially done! As you can all tell… I had no roadmap for this one! (Don't you think that photo is appropriate... roadmap... get it? Im so witty)

 

A New Nephew, Smoke Detectors, and A Year

The trip to meet Dominic was so fun! I didn’t want to come back home! He is so SO fun to snuggle with. I can’t believe that humans come that small. Seeing Katie and Adam was awesome as well! (Of course!). Honestly the trip needs its own post! But in summary… I have the cutest little nephew ever, I didn’t want to come back, and I am nowhere near close to where I left of in terms of being able to play soccer. (I missed a goal. Me + the goalie + 5 mins = shot off the post. I would have made my girls do up-downs for missing a goal like that. ARGH) Oh I went to see the Easter bunny for the first time ever. Apparently mom didn’t love me enough to take me J I have never been to an Easter egg hunt either. Obviously the second child is just not loved as much as the oldest. Being back in Reality just plain old stinks. I would like to go back on vacation.

 

Oh I learned three things on my flights to and from Virginia.

1.       Apparently there is a special hat box/container made for cowboy hats. The guy across the asile from me had one and put his Stetson in it. Texans never cease to amaze me.

2.       I cant understand Indian accents. The friendly guy sitting next to me on the way home had to repeat everything. I seriously think I have a hearing problem sometimes.

3.       It is official. I am going to throat punch the next person who asks me what Im going to do with my degree. Consider yourself warned. I can do anything I want to. And Im getting tired of being polite when you ask me that.

This morning was rough. I went to bed exhausted. I don’t remember lying down. I remember setting my alarm and yelling to Watson that it was time for bed, and the next thing I know I am being jolted awake by the smoke alarm blaring. I had no idea what was going on. It was one of those moments that your body just goes on auto pilot and you find yourself stumbling through the house blindly. My eyes were all crusty and bleary. My cat was freaking out and walking in circles around my feet… and that really wasn’t helping anything. I had no idea what was shrieking at me, I was just trying to find the source and make it shut up. I finally figured out that it was the smoke alarm in the hallway. The ceilings are TALL and I just stood in the hall angry at the white, round, obnoxious contraption hanging 16 feet over my head. I think I just stood there and stared straight up my problem. How was I going to scale the wardrobe to hit that “thing” as hard as I could? That’s when I started grumbling to Watson about the situation. I am pretty sure that he agreed as his tail was a least 5 times are big as normal, and his fur was all poofy. I decided against climbing wooden structures that may or may not support my weight and I trudged to the kitchen, dragging my feet partly because I was too tired to pick them up properly, and partly because Watson was really annoyingly close to them.

I dragged out the step stool, grabbed the broom, and stomped back to the hall. After almost losing the battle with the step ladder (they are tricky things to open!), I hit the button with the broom handle to stop the incessant beeping. (I probably hit the button a little harder than needed). It was then that I realized that the white, obnoxious contraption hanging 16 feet above me tends to go off in emergency situations that involve flames and smoke. Yes it took me that long to think about a fire. Pathetic isn’t it? By this point I was awake, so I checked the house for flames and smoke. All was well. I explained the what happened to Watson (don’t judge me!) and told him that we could have died. Not because I didn’t wake up from the alarm, but because my first instincts were to figure out how to shut the thing up so I could go back to sleep.. not to flee the premises. I think undergrad has skewed my opinion of fire alarms. Roomie always had to convince me to get out of bed in college. Stupid drunk people.  So now I associate fire alarms with false alarms. That’s good.

 I lugged the step ladder and broom back to the closet and then…. The noise started again. By this point my tired, still-not-awake self was pretty sure the house was burning down. Convinced actually. I hurried back into the dining room and realized that the noise was different…. and not coming from the hall. What?? I walked around the dining room and finally realized what direction it was coming from. I head towards the source and realized it was my alarm clock. Time to get up and go to work. ARGH. No. WHY?!? I flopped face down onto the bed. It was probably pretty comical because my bed is high. Pretty sure my feet were still on the floor when I face planted into the quilt. I just stood/laid there in a right angle while Watson meowed and rubbed against my legs. I cant even begin to describe how badly I wanted to crawl back into bed and yank the covers over my head. Is it Friday yet??

Oh the green stuff has started to fall off of the trees down here. That means I can’t keep the pool clean and my car is green:

 

I was hoping that it would blow off on the highway… nope. After a week of having Lucy look disgusting I am starting to accept the fact that I need to bring her through a carwash.

This weekend is my 1 year anniversary with Texas. I am not sure how I feel about that. 1 year anniversary of taking my leap… the one that I was convinced was a leap of death. (Not as deadly as the leap of death that occurred in freshman year of college in a dorm room. Attempting to Leap from a bed to the top of a bunk at the opposite side of the room is not a smart idea. Mike at least tied a pillow around his waist to save his hip bone. Me on the other hand… had a black hip for weeks. I tried to find the video and couldn’t. I did see the videos that I have on my facebook page and that is just scary… Anyways…) I can’t believe that it has been an entire year. The 12 months has FLOWN by. Im almost 26!?!?! I’m in the second half of my 20’s?!?! Oh dear.

Nothing else is really new. I am looking forward to Rome. And “looking forward” is a vast understatement. It is getting me through the next 2 weeks and making the transition back to reality seem a little more bearable. I’ll try to be better at blogging!

 

What  I want to be doing right now (reading The Little Engine that Could!)