(Ahhh the beginning of the roadtrip... whne it was fun and not torture....)
A Year. 365 days. Amazing how quickly they go by is it not?
I haven’t ever had a blog go longer than a year. Rome was 3-4 months. London
was a blur of 11 months. Texas… a year and counting?!? Texas is becoming one of
the places that I have stayed the longest (besides Ashville of course). HWS is
beating it at the moment as well, but a year there was 9 months with a month
off for Christmas. I was three hours away from home cooking, and the rest of my
possessions. Here it’s different. Although it has been 8 years since I have
lived with my possessions. EIGHT years of opening my closet, or going to my
bookshelf and thinking “crap… that’s in Ashville”. It’s getting old. I would
like to have all of my clothes, all of my books, and all of my nerdy
knickknacks in the same state. I guess they are in the same country as I am…
which hasn’t always been the case!
I have re-read some of my blog as I have been going past the
last year and re-evaluating life. (wow some of those posts are pathetic!! I am
sorry for the torture!) I think I have been a little hard on Texas. (LITTLE
being the key word?) Yes, it is crazy and an entirely different country down
here. Yes, the gun talk is old and coming from a liberal Liberal Arts school I
have to force myself to not roll my eyes a lot. Yes, everyone has a truck and
the trees down here are bushes, not trees. (I think that is why the sky is so
big and open. The trees are too short to block the view) But….. I am starting to
like it. Not loving San Antonio yet. Not sure that will ever happen. But I am
starting to like the bush trees, the cool rabbits, and sauntering cows. There
are some things however that I will always hold against Texas:
1.
Stickers. I hate them. They hurt and prevent me
from walking barefoot. They stick in my shoe laces and soccer ball. Not ok.
2.
It is (as Laurie would say) Hot as Hell down
here. Walking outside to oven hot heat
is just as bad as having your breath taken away by the cold.
3.
The insects are gross. In the past year I have
had a HUGE spider, sneaky scorpion, and a weird lizard all in my BATHROOM. This
I am not ok with. Thankfully Jared is ok with squishing scorpions because I
just stood on a stool and replayed “The Pearl” in my mind while freaking out
over the welfare of my toes.
4.
Texans love for their flag and state is a little
over the top. Just keep going back to the creepy lawyer “the laws of this
country and this great state”…
Texans first, Americans second.
5.
The Armada of Armadas on the highway is crazy.
Its America conspicuous consumption at its finest. Of course Nissan Armadas are
not the only crazy big cars on the highway… but I liked how there could be an
Armada or Armadas J
6.
You can buy Texas shaped everything. And when I
say everything… I mean everything. Also you can put a Texas flag on anything.
And when I say anything… I mean anything.
7.
Not having real wings, or a Tim Hortans.
So it’s been 366 days since I was throwing crap into
suitcases, crying and not convinced that I was actually leaving in the morning.
Seems like yesterday and a lifetime ago at the same time. My job… still isn’t it.
But on bad days when I want to stand on my cube and full-fledged three year old
style tantrum, I remember working 4 jobs and having 12-16 hour days. (Yes 4
jobs at once. Chautauqua Ticketing, Athenaeum, TJMaxx, and Dog
sitting/walking). It was survival mode and honestly I was barely surviving. And
I was a monster. A 24/7/365 monster. No health insurance, barely a saving
account, and zero life. So when I get the urge to scream at the top of my lungs
I remember 1 year ago and feel better. I think I made the right choice. How
lucky am I that I am 21 days away from turning 26 and I have zero regrets? I
may take a long time to make a decision, and I may fight my decision with
everything I have, but according to my track record I seem to make the right ones. Would I have done things differently since
Aug. 2012? Probably. But I haven’t messed up enough to regret anything. Not yet
anyways!
I am getting better at change. I still remember pulling out
of my driveway on the way to Geneva, in the back seat of the Subaru with an
upset stomach and eyes full of tears. I was convinced that I wasn’t going to
make it through college. Even worse is the moment that your parents ditch you
and you are surrounded by piles of clothes, a mini fridge, two sketchy looking
mattresses and a new roommate. (Thankfully I had the best roommate that a girl
could ask for. OH my goodness did I luck out. SO thankful that Roomie was my
roommate.) In that moment you are convinced that college is overrated and
scary. 4 years since that moment I have moved across the Atlantic Ocean twice
(one of those moves counts WAY more than the other) and halfway across the
country once. I have a feeling that Im not done moving!
I no longer have a problem packing my bags and going
someplace new. (As long as there isn’t a Dragon Lady. I have never ever been so
mad at my parents then I was during that skype date. They wouldn’t let me come
home. And I was the only American who moved to London without her parents. It’s
such a good story now though isn’t it? I laugh so hard every time I remember
her screaming out the window that the fountain in the square was diabolical. Or
the time the cable company came and she wouldn’t let them in the house because
she didn’t like the look of their van)
Wow I am getting off topic aren’t I? Anyways I am pretty
proud of myself. Im getting better! And I haven’t completely failed at anything
yet. I still hate meeting people. Im so awkward and bad at it. Im not sure if I
hate it, therefore I am bad at it… or I am bad at it, therefore I hate it? I
miss people. That’s what I miss the most. College friends, old High school
friends, and past co-workers. I could care less about being away from WNY, but
I miss seeing friends. If any college friends are reading this… we need a
reunion. It’s been 4 years now!
I have a good feeling about 26. Somehow I feel like it going
to be awesome. I don’t know if it will beat 22 (that was a pretty epic year! 22
is the year to beat at the moment) but it’s going to be way better than the end
of 23 through 25. I am kicking off year 26 in Rome… which will be the perfect
way to start. I just have a really good feeling about this upcoming
year/birthday.
Im not sure where this post is going at this point! The past
year has been good, scary, lonely, busy, exciting, and a breath of fresh air
all at once! Im still not where I want to be, but I am at a better place then I
was 367 days ago. Im not a monster 24/7 (Im sure I still have my moments!)
Easter yesterday was good! I went on the annual walk in the
morning with Aunt & co. I walked Annabeth and it was fun. We couldn’t go as
far as last year because we had reservations at noon. It was still a least a 5
mile walk! We all showered quickly and went out to brunch at a cool place in
the Pearl. I ate octopus that wasn’t covered in breading! It was hard! I like
it but I don’t like seeing the little suction cups on the tiny tentacles. Argh!
That is what the batter is for… to hide the octopus parts!
10 Random Thoughts From the Past Year:
1.
I have learned how to drive in traffic! Im not
scared of my commute anymore! Argh I
hated the first few weeks. Driving here still sucks, but its not scary. I still
miss back roads with the radio blaring and the windows all of the way down
2.
The cows have seen me do really dumb things.
They are growing on me. I still think they are dumb, but they are big, gentle
giants. I no longer shout that I love hamburgers at them… J
3.
I have learned that the stereotypical cactus
with the three arms don’t reside in Texas. Apparently it’s a Arizona thing?
4.
I am still not a fan of tacos for every meal.
Breakfast tacos haven’t grown on me at all. Although I don’t really like
breakfast…
5.
My cube isn’t as depressing as it used to be. I
decorated the crap out of it… but even besides that, it’s not bad. It’s just
like having a desk but with people around. I love who I work with. (Not quite
as much as Laurie, but I still like them a lot)
6.
I feel like my brain is being drained of
everything I learned in college. Someone will bring up art and my noggin is
foggy. I can’t think or remember anything until it’s WAY too late. What is
happening?!?! I need to read more art books!
7.
I still miss real grass. The soft kind that you
can lay in, and walk through without shoes on. I never have been so
appreciative of NY grass then I am since coming down here. In London I missed
grass, but the parks had lush, soft, friendly grass. Here it is mean, pokey and
painful.
(even rest stops in Tennessee have nicer grass than Texas)
8.
I haven’t said yall yet… and I don’t plan on
caving anytime soon.
9.
I think I have conquered the fear of living in
big houses by myself. Im finally not nervous at night at the ranch… even
without the dogs! I think Watson has a lot to do with it… but Im going to give
myself some credit too!
10.
It is confirmed that I am not a runner. I have
been trying to like it since Oct…. and it’s just not working. I hate it. I need
to find a soccer team or something. I like how I feel after runs… just not
while running.
Ok this random post is officially done! As you can all tell…
I had no roadmap for this one! (Don't you think that photo is appropriate... roadmap... get it? Im so witty)
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