Making 26 Count

*Warning. This post is basically a rant and has been posted to help keep me accountable. Read at your own risk*

So… I haven’t written in awhile. I could say it was because nothing down here is as exciting as London (although true) but the real reason??... I have been in a bad mood. Yes for a month. Usually this blog is full of me making a dum dum of myself (oh that still has happened by the way! Don’t think my awkward and embarrassing moments haven’t stopped!)  When you are in the middle of a quarter life crisis, blogs aren't as fun. In my last post… pre Rome… I said I had high hopes for the 26^th year. It was like I was going to turn 26 and “poof” everything is AWESOME! (I hope someone gets that reference).  So nothing has changed…

Every since I boarded that plane on August 19^th in tears, I have been waiting for lightning to strike and something awesome and inspiring to land in my lap. The screen shot of my facebook page sums up my sentiment exactly:

I was not in a good place. Then started the 4 jobs and my mini “lets figure stuff out” life break never happened. 10-14 hour days often without a day off for a week or more and I didn’t have the time or energy to figure anything out. I took a leap out of desperation and landed in San Antonio Texas. Life was better… a 8 hour day making enough money to not only pay my bills, but do this crazy thing called save money. It was like a vacation, having all of that free time… and I think that was the problem. In school my grades were better during soccer and softball. I was good at time management and got y stuff done. During the winter I slacked off and my grades went down. Free time and I don’t get along (but at the same time I do need to crash to recuperate!)

So anyways… I went from being too busy to having free time. I was still waiting for the awesome opportunity to land in my lap. That is what has always happened. I was accepted into my first choice college, then I randomly saw a poster about London and decided t apply to Christies… and got in. (im not sure how… that was the worst interview of my life) I don’t know if I have been handed everything in life, but I haven’t had to work all that hard to figure out my stuff.  The next step has always been right in front of me and an easy choice. (Well Christies wasn't that easy of a choice. I remember a lot of tears about that one too... but it was there) I have been so lucky on that front. So what does a 24 year old girl, just home from one of the best experiences and adventure of her life to do when she finds herself in small town America? I self-combusted.

The last few months here have been a wakeup call. My job pays me well, provides me benefits and is easy… but I hate it. I have days that I want to go Godzilla on my cube farm. (today was one of those days) So I decided that year 26 would be THE year… and then came home and sat around thinking that nothing changed. Really?? REALLY? Still waiting for the lightning strike. So by this point you are probably wondering where I am going with this (if anyone is still reading).

I have officially decided that I am tired of doing thing I don’t want to do. I am spending 8 hours a day doing something tedious, and the rest of the night dreading the next day. I need to stand up for myself more and say “no” and not feel badly. I need to be more selfish. This weekend was go time and I wrote a To-Do list. So watch out world… 

1.       Train to run the Rock and Roll ½ marathon in Dec.

2.       Learn to play the violin (I have been squirreling away $ and prob going to just buy a cheap one)

3.       Read more, watch TV less

4.       Eat better

5.       Work out more (kinda goes with #1)

6.       School…

a.       Applied to a teaching certification program at UTSA

7.       Look into UT

a.       Email the director of the Holocaust Center

b.      Take a tour

c.       Work on essay

8.       Study for the GRE’s

9.       Rock the GRE’s

10.   Go to Austin

11.   Buy old stuff in Fredericksburg

12.   Go to Dallas and check out the art scene

13.   Take an beginner adult ballet class

14.   Making a 1-3 year life plan/goals

15.   Get my pictures organized and printed
16.  Try Skeleton
 

Sixteen to-dos…not a horrible way to start. Right? So in a month or two if you haven’t heard all about this list and how it is going… feel freet o call me out. (No parents please. J )
 

Frustrated. Stuck. Tired of Complaining. I think that about sums it up.

So that is why I haven't been blogging... All of that mess that you just read! My quarter life crisis can be over any time now.. really it can. Apparently I have to do something about it if I want to do :) I'm tired of hearing those comforting lines of "it will come in time" and "Everything happens for a reason". Nope. Don't believe those two empty sayings.

In other news the Women’s World Cup starts this weekend! I am excited. Oh so excited. The sport is

finally getting attention which is long overdue. The only thing Im disappointed in (minus the turf fields…but that is too long to go into) is that ESPN doesn’t offer a bracket to fill out. There was one for the men’s world cup. Why not the women?