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-Anna
A Redhead Deep in the Heart of Texas
Monday, September 14, 2015
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Forgetting About Lucy & Other Random Updates
This is my life! :)
Watson has calmed down, and for that I am thankful. He bites
somewhat, but not as often or as hard. He is licking more than biting, and
purring more than clawing. He likes to sleep now, and romp outdoors. He comes
back to the door on his own now, and he doesn’t have his moments of crazy
sprinting. He is all curled up next to me as I write. I like having a cuddly
buddy instead of a terror. It’s Watson and I vs. the World. I miss Cooper, but he has been replaced by
another 4 legged fur-ball.
All this guy does is sleep…
I ventured out on Wednesday and went to McAllister Park to
do my long run. I was having a serious mental block. I was so tired of my loop
and running on a sidewalk that I needed to go somewhere new to get past my 2.8
mile brick wall. It was so nice to run at the park. They have a big 6 mile loop
and other little ones that you can jump on to. I finally hit 4 miles. That is
the first time since last Dec (for the 10k run) that I had gone over 3.2miles
so… I was relieved. If I didn’t have to pee so incredibly badly, I could have
gone for at least another half of a mile. (Sorry if that was too much info). I
am going to go back today and try to get 5 in. Definitely making sure that my
bladder is EMPTY before I start running this time! The run was so pretty
though. Look who I saw:
So I was perusing the World Wide Web and found something
extremely interesting. How did I NOT know about this?!?! And who doesn’t love Harry Potter, and Eddie
Redmayne. Seriously.
Phyllis Schlafly. Can someone please explain this woman to me?
She relates to my last post on feminism. Don’t know who she is? Read this
article below. (Good luck getting through it without throwing something) I was
pretty annoyed by the end.
If that’s not enough… keep googling. What makes me the most
mad is that she is all against women’s rights, all for the submissive wife BUT…
she is (according to Wikipedia) “activist, author, and speaker and founder of
the Eagle Forum.” So… the woman who thinks that women belong in the home is out
campaigning, writing books and has had a (unfortunately) strong political
career. Ummmmm what? How does that work? Shouldn’t she be in the kitchen or
something? How can you promote something that, by promoting it, you are doing
the exact opposite of what you are promoting? (Does that make sense?)
So I think I am losing it lately. I have let Watson outside
twice this week and forgot that I had. Not only did I forget, but I couldn’t
remember if I even had let him out once I remembered I hadn’t seen him for
awhile. (See… not ready for offspring).
To add to that absent-mindness… I went outside to change my
license plate holder (Thanks mom and dad!) and remembered that I had been
driving around for 2 months with an expired registration. Before my parents
call to yell at me… I had already renewed, but the sticker kept living on the
kitchen counter instead of my windshield. So… decided it was about time to
change it out. As I was figuring out the stupid sticker, I read my inspection
sticker. 8 15. Ohhhh crap. Guess who also has an expired inspection. Thank you car
windshield sticker gods…. I have to make it to the zoo and back tonight without
getting pulled over. Then I get to spend a Saturday getting my car inspected.
Shouldn’t be too busy because no one else in San Antonio is going to go to an
auto place on a Saturday. Argh.
(Update: I did make
it to the zoo run and back with an expired inspection. The Saturday line could
have been worse I guess… but I was a little annoyed because they no longer give
you a sticker to put on your windshield. I have a piece of paper in my glove compartment
to prove I was inspected. Umm… why didn’t I just tear off my sticker then and
take a chance? When the guy said that to me, I just groaned and said “Ahh man…
not my registration sticker is floating weird (it really is without the other
sticker). If I would have known I would have waited to put on my registration
sticker until after today. I JUST put it on my car on Thursday”. He says “Yeah
a lot of people hate that their sticker is floating. Wait… your registration
says it was due in July”… and he looks at me with a smirk. Yeah ok dude… you
caught me. Geez.)
So my “bite” is really bothering me. I hope the thing that bit me has died a slow and painful death via another insect or something. The bite is behind my left knee so... it is constantly ripped open. This is what it used to
look like:
That mountain portion is the size of a nickel
This is what it looked like on Wednesday (and still looks
like that but the scab is bigger):
The scab is the sixe of a nickel and the red, swollen itchy part around it is a little bigger than a 50 cent piece
(Update. It now looks like a scab with dry skin all around it. I think it is FINALLY getting better!)
Ahhh technology. I really do love it. It is the age of “if
you hate talking to people, you don’t have to” in terms of ordering things. For
this introvert… it’s amazing. I just refilled my prescription online on CVS. I
can order anything from Panera for Rapid pickup from my laptop or my phone. I
order pizza online from Pizza Hut, customize everything and then go pick it up
at a selected time. All without picking up the phone. Technology is such a
beautiful thing.
I am so EXCITED for FOOOOOOTTTTBBBBBAAAALLLLL!!!! I am sad
that I only get the stupid Cowboy’s games down here and no Bills. The stakes
are higher this year in the Pick’em league so I really have to up my game (and
NOT pick the Bills every week like I did last year. Probably would have come in
first instead of second if I didn’t put so much faith in that team!) Other than
watching football, I am just trying to get chores done so my week is slower.
Running 4-5 miles takes up a lot of my night! (Im pretty slow!) I have to make
sure to schedule workouts into life and plan around my runs instead of planning
my runs around other stuff. I would never get out there if I didn’t schedule
them!
Until next time…
Tuesday, September 8, 2015
I am a Feminist
WE SHOULDN’T LET THE IDEAS
OF A BEAUTIFUL CULTURE AFFECT US TOO MUCH BECAUSE FAR BETTER THAN BEAUTY IS THE
ENDEARING CONCEPT OF BEING INTERESTING. –Darling Magazine
I am a feminist. Not the bra burning, man hating kind. Those
are annoying. (And frankly, it totally hurts their cause when they are that man
hating. I mean seriously. Come on). Im the “girls can do anything” kind of
feminist. I think the term “Feminist” means different things for different
generations. Thankfully, Title IX happened long before I was around to play
sports and we are witnessing women doing more and more things (Did you all see
the women who completed the Ranger training?!?!? How kick ass is that? Although
even after they went through the rigorous training/testing, they cannot
participate combat Ranger roles. WTF US. Army?) People asked if the course
standards were lowered for the female soldiers. That was one of the first
questions!!! Why on earth is that even a question?? We obviously have a long
way to go.
When I say that I’m feminist, I mean that I am a firm and
ardent believer that women can do anything. We can be the CEO of a
multi-billion dollar company, a world leader, small business owner, mayor,
astronaut, engineer, a scientist or a stay at home mom. More importantly, we
can be a leader in any field, and have kids. I think we are getting better at
accepting that, but becoming pregnant can still cause problems and setbacks in
a women’s career. Why is it that the United States has the worst numbers when
it comes to giving mothers maternity leave. Accenture is amazing and gives 12
paid weeks off, plus the paid time off stills accrues which means you basically
earn another week while you are out. Add that to any PTO that you saved and you
can have a nice, long leave. The problem is that policy is rare. I obviously have ZERO experience, but I
highly doubt shoving a lifeform out of your body isn’t exactly pleasant and
recovery isn’t instant.
When I say that I’m a feminist, I mean that I want to see
the unattainable images of women completely shattered. I want to see “brains”
outweigh “beauty”. I hate that beautiful and smart seems to be thought of as the
exception. The word “genius” is a male word. How often do we hear it applied to
a woman? If it is, it is viewed as another exception. Much like the idea of a
tom-boy. If a girl likes to get dirty, wear pants, doesn’t like to paint her
nails, etc. she is given a label that has boy right in it! Why can’t a girl be
more than a creature that applies makeup, paints her nails and shops?
When I say that I’m a feminist, I mean that I want to see a
change in some guy’s attitudes regarding women. Why are woman traits/body parts
used in a negative way to describe men? Excuse my language, but it is necessary
to get my point across. If a guy is being a scaredy-cat or something to that
effect, he is called a pussy. To a much lesser extent… un-athletic guys are
told they “throw like a girl”. (there are so many more… so many) Even the
phrase “Grow a Pair” is giving positive traits (strength, boldness, etc) to the
male genitals. It definitely doesn’t mean to grow a pair of boobs.
When I say that I am a feminist, I mean that women should
breastfeed in public. I mean come on people who are uncomfy with that… you all
see more boobage in everyday media and at Walmart than you do when a woman is
breastfeeding. Honestly, I don’t know if I would want to, but hey… a kid has
got to eat and there is ZERO harm in it. And most of the time there is a tent
thing…. Hello you cant even see anything.
When I say I am a feminist, I mean that I see gender roles
with toys…. It starts instantly. As soon as the parents announce the sex, half
of the toys on the market goes out of the window. Boys get cars, trucks,
trains, airplanes, boats, superheroes, blue things, and building blocks. Girls
get pastels, flowers, everything pink, dolls, play kitchens, vacuum cleaners,
castles, dress up clothes, and princesses. Why can’t the girl get the truck?
And the boy get the kitchen? I honestly buy trucks for baby girls… And there is
no way that my little girl (if I have one) is getting a play makeup set. She
can get heels and the cool dress up dresses though. Those are cool.
When I say that I am a feminist, I mean that I am not a fan
of the Disney Princess…. Thankfully that is getting better. I was so excited
when Mulan came out because she owned the rescuing business. Goodness that took
long enough. Why do girls need a prince to rescue them? I can rescue myself thank you very much. Give me the sword and Ill
slay the freaking dragon. They are all so dumb too... the early princesses.
Sleeping Beauty (my favorite) is so naïve. Snow White is so SO dumb. Have you
watched that recently? And all she does is clean. Cinderella is so freaking
obedient. (By the way… that bring me to the moment that I won’t say obey in my
vows. Im not obeying anyone. I don’t
care if it is mutual. I don’t want Mr. Whoever to obey me either. Ok back to
princesses) Tangled was a little better. I would like a Prince to do something
really stupid and have to be rescued by a princess. Then I’ll be happy.
When I say that I am a feminist… I doesn’t mean that I won’t
change my name if/when I get married. I did think about it during my stint at a
liberal, liberal arts school. It’s a huge identity change! Why do I have to
change my name to match Mr. Whoever? Argh. I got over it though, so perhaps
Rusch will someday fall off the end of Anna Glencora. (Unless I leave Rusch
there and tack the new name on the end. And not use Rusch. Be Anna Glencora
Rusch Whoever, but sign Anna Whoever. That’s a legit possibility. My kids won’t
inherit the Rusch) I do hate addressing envelopes to married people though. Why
it is “Mr. and Mrs. Guy Whoever”. Where is the girl’s name? Why can’t it just
be” Mr. and Mrs. Whoever”? Or “Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Anna Whoever”. Of that
looks dumb. How about “Mr. Guy and Mrs. Anna Whoever”? I don’t know… I just
hate addressing envelopes and leaving out the girl’s identity.
When I say that I am a feminist, I mean that I want to see a
new generation of girls being raised. A generation that speaks their mind and
does it well, knows she can be absolutely anything, doesn’t need a man to
define her, is intelligent, bold, unique, feisty, confident, strong,
independent, problem solvers, creators, compassionate, self-sufficient and,
perhaps most importantly, know how to dream.
Because they can do anything they want to do.
Monday, September 7, 2015
Back to San Antonio
I needed a life reset. I was hoping that getting out of San
Antonio and going home would be just that, a reset button. I am not sure that
was what I got… I was so busy and never alone, that I never got “sit quietly
and think” time. I didn’t even work out that much (besides hauling wood!). I
only went on 2 runs and 2 bike rides. (Let me tell you… I MISSED Texas’
flatness on those 4 occasions. My “block” doesn’t have a flat part at all! Man
those hills kicked my butt!) It was good to get away, but I didn’t get much
time to relax, and I reset when I have alone time…. Something I had zero of.
I have officially decided that I am nowhere near ready for
offspring. (I am sure that shocked none of you) I am two rows behind a girl who
looks about my age, all alone, with a small child. (maybe 1.5 or 2 years old? I
don’t know children so Im not good at telling). She is incredibly embarrassed
that her little girl is crying on the plane. She looks like she wants to
disappear into her seat. Pretty sure if someone offered her a rag and some
chloroform, she would gladly accept both. She is doing everything in her power
to entertain the tiny human, to no avail. It looks absolutely exhausting. Guess
who is not selfless enough to volunteer to create one of those at this moment?
Just the thought of traveling with a child… argh. So do you not travel unless
you drive? But then you have to pack all of the required essentials for the
tiny human. Guess who isn’t ready to pack bags in order to go to the grocery
store, or out to dinner. (can’t imagine doing that either!)
According to… well Im not entirely sure who… “Money Can’t
Buy Happiness”. I would like disagree. To some extent anyways. Obviously money
can’t buy everything. And the things it cannot buy are pretty big and
substantial. I would, however, like to point out that it does help a LOT, and
as a 26 year old girl… it would solve a lot of my problems. If I didn’t have my
loans, I think I would be a lot freer to do more things. I think I could take
more chances. $500+ a month expense is pretty big, especially when it keeps
happening every month for the next 5 years or so. I can’t exactly choose not to
pay it for 4 months. No loans = $500 extra a month that I could be saving. I
could travel with that. I could save that. I could quit my job and find myself
with that. (that’s a little extreme, but you get my point). Traveling all over
the world is a whole lotta happiness. I could go to Stromboli, go find Loch
Ness, or buy a vintage car to take road trips in. $500 a month… that’s $6,000 a
year! So… if someone wants to help me prove that stupid saying wrong, I am
taking donations! ;)
I keep going back to that coffee “date” yesterday with Al.
It’s a “going home” tradition and honestly it’s a bi-annual ritual that does
wonders for my sanity. We are never fully satisfied with our lives when we
meet, and he is the only person in that town who has never thought that I was
crazy for wanting more. Nothing we bounce off of each other is too crazy, no
trips too wild, no ideas too weird. We are completely honest with each other
(sometimes to a fault). I keep going back to our conversations over the years…
how our goals have shifted, problems evolved and views have changed, but how
our frustration has, for the most part, remained the same. He is the only friend who has really been on
the same page as I have been in every dept. of life.
We are basically the last two holding out from our
graduating class, planning our next trip instead of a wedding. That hour and a
half was the only chat in which I walked away optimistic about the future and
the potential it holds. I always leave contemplative and frustrated though,
knowing that we have had these talks for at least the last 9 years. Its starts
the same way every time… we plop down somewhere with a coffee or beer, ask the
loaded question “So, how’s it going?”, we sigh, and start to vent. What I love
about our talks… we never ask the “so what are you going to do to get there?”
or badger each other on it. We just shoot the breeze and… it’s always good to
see him.
My food list for the journey home was extensive, and even
though every social engagement included food, I didn’t get to any of my spots.
Its ok, because I never want to eat again after having it feel like
Thanksgiving for 9 days in a row. I did get the big one…. Duffs Wings. They are
the BEST. And I had Tim Hortans a few times. I missed Wegmans, Johnnies, and
Alfies…. But I am sure they will be there next time. I really never want to eat
again though. Argh I feel so gross.
I was tired last night when I wrote my blog, so I glazed
over the Chautauqua visit. It was so good to go, although I have a bit of a bad
taste in my mouth regarding that place. Once one sees behind the curtain, you
can never go back. How many years was I there getting yelled at? Way too many.
While I made friendships with the ticketers, and a few other on the grounds, it
really wasn’t fun. You never realized how badly you get treated until you get a
real job and see how a company is supposed to treat you. How lucky were we that
all of us had Laurie. I was wandering around and almost every good memory had
Laurie in it. I think Im over CHQ, what it is supposed to be vs. what it is. I
know the area relies on the economic benefits of the season but… argh. We all
stayed one extra year for Laurie. I was so happy to see that the Praying Mantis
was still sitting in her front yard. I laughed out loud. I am glad that I did
my own thing to remember her. It was good to do. I miss her.
My spider bite got pretty gross. See:
I had a dream last night that spiders were hatching from it.
It was terrifying and disgusting. The sad part… I turned on the light at 1am to
make sure that there weren’t any spiders spawning from my leg. Yeah… sad. In my
defense I was really sleepy and the thing itched like CRAZY!
Back to real life. Argh. That is never fun. I truly need a
vacation from this vacation! I am thankful that I have Labor Day off to
regroup! I need to get my butt in gear in terms of running for that half
marathon, and eating better. I never want to eat out again. Ever. I am going
home to zero food though, and a holiday the next day. Who knows what I’ll get
dig out for food!
Oh in case you needed a visual of my crazy. See I am missing TWO!:
Saturday, September 5, 2015
Nothing New
I am an introvert. Full blown introvert who needs to be
alone to recharge. Being alone for me is a chance to relax and regroup. I don’t
think my friends always understand that. There are some nights that I really
just need to say, I am sorry but I need some alone time. It’s nothing personal.
It doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy spending time with you… it’s just that I
need to recharge my batteries. Wanting to be alone doesn’t mean I am sad, or
depressed either. I just need quiet time without having to talk to people.
For me parties, and meeting new people are both exhausting.
Small talk is taxing. Oh how I hate small talk. I love listening in group
conversations, more than talking. Not because I don’t have an opinion, but
because I am making new connections in my brain, forming my thoughts and…. well
honestly… making impressions of the people I am with. These sum me up:
Even if I know the people that I am hanging with, I still get
overwhelmed. I have seen a LOT of people this week and I have loved seeing
everyone... but last time I completely shut down. I couldn’t handle the
talking/questions from mom and dad so I went upstairs to get quiet time. I was
exhausted from talking and being social.
Ahhh the country. Everything moves slower here. Literally. I
don’t remember the last time I drove at 35 miles per hour. I feel like every
road is 35 or 45. It’s only the back roads that you can get up to 55 on
(besides the highway!) Driving is SO much better here. So relaxing!!
I am starting to realize how pretty it is here. I have
missed the lake. A lot. When I am a multi-millionaire, I may add a summer house
in Lakewood to the list of houses. (flat in London, apartment in NYC and house
in Geneva are already on it) If there was an economy here, I may have actually
stayed. But there isn’t anything here. There aren’t any jobs. (Especially for
an art history major)
I got bit by something Wednesday morning. I am thinking a
spider since I have never had a bite this bad, this big, this gross, this
painful, this disgusting. The only thing that helps is ice. I even have had to
sneak downstairs at 4am to get some. Today it started to ooze. That was so
pleasant. I put a band-aid on it when I went outside to get in the last tree.
It itched so badly that I just wanted to take the chainsaw and chop my leg off.
I hate itching. I hate when that is all you can think about.
This week has been FULL of one question. “So Anna, How is
Texas?” What a broad question. I never knew where to start, so I usually just
said “hot”, although I knew that was not what they meant. I am so glad I went
to Texas. I needed to go. But it’s not it yet. The second question “are you
still applying to jobs” always tripped me up to. Yes, and no. And the famous
third question “so what is it that you want to do”. That is where I gave up
trying to answer, and changed the subject.
Thursday was the Laurie Ennis Memorial tour. (I don’t like
adding the Memorial part in there). I parked at the Main Gate and went in to
use the bathroom. Argh. The feeling of walking in there. I walked around the grounds,
hoping not to really run into anyone I knew. I stopped in the bookstore to look
for a dumb mug, hoping to find it. Alison and I had bought one for Laurie and
it said “Chautauqua, Uniquely Yours for Making Memories”. I don’t remember how
Alison and I edited it, but I remember doodling on it with a sharpie. I really
wanted one, but they didn’t have them. The bookstore had sold them what… 3
seasons ago now?
I stopped at Tasty Acres and got the chicken finger basket
to go (with waffles fries, honey mustard and ranch dressing of course!) I just
hung out by the lake and ate lunch. I went by the big landmarks with the best
stories. It was good to do, and slightly sad. I think I smiled more than I was
sad though. Such funny stories.
I had coffee with Alex today, and it was the perfect way to
end the trip. We have always been on the same page. While everyone is getting
married and having kids, we are trying to decide where in the world we are
traveling to next. I always walk away from those coffee sessions feeling
restless, and wanting to embark on the next adventure. I also walk away
frustrated and contemplative. I just took a drive after. Makes my cube feel
even more constricting.
I thought this week would be relaxing… but between getting
in 5 trees, installing a swing, fixing a bridge, and having a crazy social life,
I haven’t had a free moment to myself! I cant decide if I want to go back tomorrow
or not. I am ready for quiet time, but not for work! And I will miss the green,
the lake, not needing shoes, and the lazy driving. There are few feelings
better than a back country road, loud music, and all of the window down!
Friday, September 4, 2015
Pitfalls of a Small Town Education
I am trying to use my brain more, and be more aware of the
world in which I live, so I bought Time Magazine at the airport for the trip
home, complete with Donald Trump’s face plastered on the cover. I learned a lot
about what is currently going on in this world! That led me to thinking about
how I became so ignorant in the realm of the world. I think it has something to
do with my small town America High School education, which brings me to a rant:
If you know me, you know how I feel about PCS. I always get told that I didn't appreciate high school and I need to be grateful about my small town childhood. Yes there are things that I LOVE about going to a small school, but that doesn't mean I received the best education.
Do students these days even learn about current events? I
didn’t when I was in school. And I don’t mean having to submit a one paged
“report” on a current event topic every other Friday (that was the only
exposure that I had to the happenings of the world when I was in high school,
and that was only when I was a senior). Those homework assignments were a joke.
I would do them the period before in the computer lab during study hall. I
wouldn’t even read the article, knowing that I didn’t need to in order to get
an A. My strength is reading, and being able to skim something to pick out a
few key points. I just beefed that up a little and handed it in after 15
minutes of “work” with no clue what I just read, or the implication of the
event had on the world. The problem was… I didn’t have to have an opinion on
what I read. I just had to “prove” that I read it (which is very easy to get
around apparently). So perhaps… that is a little on me. But not having to have
an opinion, allowed me to get away with not knowing the facts.
I remember having “debates” in government class, but that
still doesn’t count for me. I don’t think I was aware of the world until I went
to college. Is that the same for everyone? Or is it another fail in my splotchy
high school education? When we were “told” about an event, it was just that. We
were informed about it. I wasn’t ever asked to form my own thoughts. I was
taught to regurgitate what I was being told. Walking into a college classroom
for the first time completely blew me away. Wait… they just told me something,
and now they want my opinion?!?! I don’t understand… they are the teacher.
Aren’t we just supposed to tell them what they had previously told us?
The thought of having a discussion in a class was foreign to
me. I was seated in a room with students who had been to elite (and average)
private schools. They had been ingrained with the notion that you talk in
class, and support your opinions with facts. For two years, my “social studies”
education involved me walking into the classroom, and staring at 2 white
boards. These boards were filled with writing, and I mean filled. Then, we
would spend 30 minutes copying down the notes from the board. For the last ten
minutes of the 40 minute class, our teacher would then read everything to us
and provide a couple more sentences of insight. Then we would all file out of
the room with a hand cramp and 1 page of freshly written notes.
I think that those points above are the big things that
frustrate me the most about my small town, small school education. The lack of
knowledge/care about the broader world. The closed mind mentality of “We are in
America. Speak English. Why do I need to learn Spanish?” (That is probably my
number one pet peeve by the way. I can’t debate the topic rationally, or
politely for that matter.) The sheltered, unrealistic environment of
conservative, all white people who all know everything about everyone. Then in
school, we were never exposed to the problems, thinking and culture of other
people.
We need to be raising a generation that understands the
global community that they are a part of, and the relationship that every part
of the world has with each other. I know I am a bias ex-student of a high
school that I do not think very highly of, and understand that America’s
education on a whole is not reflected in a tiny Western NY school. I also
understand that teachers get a bad rap from the ones like the social studies
teacher that I described above. Not every teacher is like that, and I am sure
that he is in the minority. It is just incredibly frustrating to think about
what the current students at Panama are not learning. That upon graduation,
they are not necessarily open-minded young adults who are able to think for
themselves. Instead, if things are the same as when I left, they are walking
out of the doors as sheltered, un-inspired young adults who are not used to
questioning teachers, forming their own opinions, have no idea how to think critically,
and are in no way a global citizen.
I have been going back and forth about being a teacher since
I was a freshman in college. I took an education course and hated it. In June I
went to an info session at UTSA about being a teacher, and never followed
though, deciding for the 15th time that I didn’t want to do it.
Teachers are so important. My 5th grade teacher was the reason I
fell in love with history. My 2nd grade teacher taught me how to
have a backbone, and dust myself off after making a mistake. My first grade
teacher made me love to read even more. My Adv. Bio teacher made me love a
subject that I previously hadn’t cared for at all. My 11th grade
English teacher taught me how to find the meanings in the words beyond what the
story was telling me.
But it is the bad ones that frustrate me. It is that group
of teachers that make me want to be teachers. The ones that didn’t teach us.
The good ones inspired me, the bad ones made me lose interest in school. The
English teacher that made us read quietly to ourselves while she shopped
online. The Honor’s English class that our teacher had us making videos “I Am”
instead of reading, and then being mad when no one wanted to take the AP test. The
science teacher that had us watch “Voyage of the Mimi” everyday. These teachers
and classes left gaping holes in my education.
We had an Economics teacher for half of a year who told us
to “Always Question Authority”. Back then I didn’t really get it. Oh I said
what I thought, but didn’t question my teachers. As a senior I had a long
distance learning calc class. This means that hte teacher is remote, along with the
other half of the class. The group at Panama wasn’t learning. We couldn’t hear
over the other kids scratching the mics, and the teacher wasn’t getting the information
across to us. So we brought it up with the administration and were completely
ignored. It was our fault that we weren’t learning. So we kinda rebelled (which
didn’t help our cause) and we all ended the year not knowing calc and having a
crappy grade. (I remember we were sent to the library to wait for class to start
because it was on a different schedule that Panama, and we were too unruly to
be left alone. That wasn’t true until they made us go to the library. We made a
chain with a big paper ball on the end and shuffled to and from the library as
a chain gang. A teacher even helped us out and stored it in her room for us.
The admin hated us… the honors kids who decided to call them out on their crap
in a very passive aggressive way!)
There would be no way in hell that I would send my kids to
Panama. Yes, it was nice being in a small school as you knew everyone. But from
a strictly educational stand-point… nope. Wouldn’t happen. I remember I wrote a
short letter to the local paper entitled “Panama Still Has a Long Way to Go” as
a senior in high school. (I need to find that article) Everyone in the
community was mad at me because I started a controversy… I critiqued Panama and
said exactly what I thought. The school board brings in kids after the first
year of college to hear what the students have to say about how they felt they
were prepared for college. I wasnt asked. :) Neither was my other friend who felt
like she was unprepared as well. They ask students who they know are going to
say nice things. They didn’t want to hear the truth. I wasn’t prepared for college.
I know college is a big step, and perhaps no one is really prepared. BUT I
could have been a lot more ready. I remember the first day of English class in
college… I was frantically scribbling g notes and lost on what the teacher was
asking me to do, and the kids around me were sleeping in boredom. One asked “don’t
you remember this crap from high school”? No… I was never taught it. (Also it
was really hard to conjugate sentences in my Latin class, when I never learned
how to do it in English”.
So what am I getting to in this? No, every teacher isn’t bad,
but there surely are some out there. I know that Education is a hot topic in
NYS, and the crap with the Common Core and teaching to a test. There has to be
a better way to do things. There has to be a better way of FAIRLY evaluating teachers.
And why is there tenure? If I am not good at my job, I get fired. The good
teachers shouldn’t be punished in the evaluation process, and they shouldn’t have
to teach to tests. I don’t know what the answer is, but small town American
school scare me. Perhaps it’s time to start a Charter School?
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
Too Much Stuff
This trip home has been a journey down memory lane! It is
the first time that I have come home and haven’t been depressed (post Rome and
post London), stuck (post London) or feeling anxious (when I was here a year ago).
I came home last Sept and it was too soon. Too close to my 1.5 year stint. This
time I was able to walk through the Buffalo airport without sitting on a
plastic chair and crying. (post London) Coming home for summers in college weren’t
even relaxing. I killed myself working a minimum wage job. This new set of eyes
is providing me an entire new lens to see my hometown through and… I kinda like
it.
It so pretty here. And so green! I didn’t realize how much I
missed the green. The trees are tall, and full of GREEN leaves. Every place
seems to have a memory to it the last few days. I think my last blog post had something
to do with that. Change comes slowly here, and rarely comes at all. It’s odd
because it is like I almost get thrown back into the past when I come home.
I went on a bike ride last. 10 slow miles through the
country. It was so much fun. I know who lives in each house, and I even had to
stop my ride to chat with neighbors who were out for a walk. When I got to the
four corners, I found myself anxious about how I was going to cross the two
streets to get to the other side. Some things really never change. I almost got
hit there once, a long time ago, because even though I had looked all four
ways, by the time I started to go there was a new car that I didn’t see. Thankfully
they were being alert and stopped before hitting my back tire! But every time
since that day, the four corners have made me nervous! Once I got through the
four corners and onto the back roads, it was so pretty. I waved to the Amish,
yelled going through the tunnel on Hoag road, and got my butt kicked on all of
the hills! (this isn’t flat ole Texas!)
The scary part about being home… is seeing all of my stuff.
I have never lived in an apartment in this country, but I can literally furnish
one. (minus table/chairs, a couch, and a tv). Pretty sure I have enough art to
cover the walls of a mansion, I have everything for a kitchen besides pots and
pans, and could have a party and have extra wine glasses. Its scary. And I am a
complete brand snob when it comes to house things. Shirts, shorts, pants etc..
I could less. My wine glasses… are either Wedgwood or Ralph Lauren. I have a
wine decanter with 4 matching wine glasses, and a liquor decanter with 4 high
ball glasses and 4 little ones… they all match. Oh and throw in the Royal
Doulton brandy glasses. Why?? Why do I have these? I don’t drink brandy!
Someday my registry will literally be pots and pans, a vacuum
cleaner, a KitchenAid mixer, whatever new fiesta color is out, and some china.
I have EVERYTHING else. A tea kettle, electric kettle, hand mixer, every gadget
known to man, candlesticks, coffee maker, skillets, cute cookie cutter, mugs
galore, London soup bowls and the list just keeps going. I am just missing an
apartment. I even have a curio cabinet…. Yup. A curio cabinet full of even more
stuff.
The scariest part is under my sister’s bed. It is CRAMMED
full of Fiestaware. I have a collecting problem. (I heard the first step to
breaking an addiction is admitting that you have a problem? Well I have multiple
times and I still collect) The problem is… when I look at my boxes of
Fiestaware, I don’t see 19. I see that I am missing 2. (the new ones.. Sage and
Slate). Then I crack open my Hope Chest… and crammed inside are all of the
fruit bowls for each set. Again, I don’t see 12 bowls, I see that I am missing
9. (including the 2 new colors). On top of my Fiestaware dishes, I have a completely
different set for Christmas! Thankfully I have convinced myself that I only
need the serving pieces for parties. I don’t have the dining sets. I know that
if I buy one, however, I would be going down a very dangerous rabbit hole.
I have always had this “problem”. Another example is the
crazy things I found while going through the attic. I have every Lord of the
Rings character action figure… including the multiple versions of Aragon. (he
was my favorite. I LOVE Viggo Mortensen. His photography is so cool as well!)
Why do I have every single one? WHY? I remember obsessively looking for them at
KB Toys in the mall, and saving my allowance to get another one. It was when I
poked my head around mom and spotted the large container of Pepsi cans that I
had to stop digging, in fear of what else I had forgotten about. (The Pepsi
cans are from one of their campaigns when the new Star Wars was coming out.
They had a different character on each side. I remember enlisting my friends to
be on the lookout for ones I didn’t have.) What on earth am I going to do with
all of those?
I went through my stuff with the good intentions of weeding
through stuff and getting rid of things I don’t want. There isn’t anything left
to throw away! I am at the point that I can’t get rid of anything until I know
my next step. Everything has a memory tied to it. I know that sounds like a
pack rat (and I guess I kinda am) but I really don’t have “junk” anymore. I had
done a good job of really being hard on myself and throwing/donating things
last time. My sister may get a few more clothes, but other than that I only
have important things left. (and stuff for an apartment!) I am really ready to
settle somewhere and have all of my stuff. I want to have my own space and all
of my belongings. Somewhere to make my own. I am hoping next spring to make
that a reality. I will be 27 and that is definitely the time to get my own
space!
More memories, stories and random topics to come!
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