Too Much Stuff

This trip home has been a journey down memory lane! It is the first time that I have come home and haven’t been depressed (post Rome and post London), stuck (post London) or feeling anxious (when I was here a year ago). I came home last Sept and it was too soon. Too close to my 1.5 year stint. This time I was able to walk through the Buffalo airport without sitting on a plastic chair and crying. (post London) Coming home for summers in college weren’t even relaxing. I killed myself working a minimum wage job. This new set of eyes is providing me an entire new lens to see my hometown through and… I kinda like it.

It so pretty here. And so green! I didn’t realize how much I missed the green. The trees are tall, and full of GREEN leaves. Every place seems to have a memory to it the last few days. I think my last blog post had something to do with that. Change comes slowly here, and rarely comes at all. It’s odd because it is like I almost get thrown back into the past when I come home.

I went on a bike ride last. 10 slow miles through the country. It was so much fun. I know who lives in each house, and I even had to stop my ride to chat with neighbors who were out for a walk. When I got to the four corners, I found myself anxious about how I was going to cross the two streets to get to the other side. Some things really never change. I almost got hit there once, a long time ago, because even though I had looked all four ways, by the time I started to go there was a new car that I didn’t see. Thankfully they were being alert and stopped before hitting my back tire! But every time since that day, the four corners have made me nervous! Once I got through the four corners and onto the back roads, it was so pretty. I waved to the Amish, yelled going through the tunnel on Hoag road, and got my butt kicked on all of the hills! (this isn’t flat ole Texas!)

The scary part about being home… is seeing all of my stuff. I have never lived in an apartment in this country, but I can literally furnish one. (minus table/chairs, a couch, and a tv). Pretty sure I have enough art to cover the walls of a mansion, I have everything for a kitchen besides pots and pans, and could have a party and have extra wine glasses. Its scary. And I am a complete brand snob when it comes to house things. Shirts, shorts, pants etc.. I could less. My wine glasses… are either Wedgwood or Ralph Lauren. I have a wine decanter with 4 matching wine glasses, and a liquor decanter with 4 high ball glasses and 4 little ones… they all match. Oh and throw in the Royal Doulton brandy glasses. Why?? Why do I have these? I don’t drink brandy!

Someday my registry will literally be pots and pans, a vacuum cleaner, a KitchenAid mixer, whatever new fiesta color is out, and some china. I have EVERYTHING else. A tea kettle, electric kettle, hand mixer, every gadget known to man, candlesticks, coffee maker, skillets, cute cookie cutter, mugs galore, London soup bowls and the list just keeps going. I am just missing an apartment. I even have a curio cabinet…. Yup. A curio cabinet full of even more stuff.

The scariest part is under my sister’s bed. It is CRAMMED full of Fiestaware. I have a collecting problem. (I heard the first step to breaking an addiction is admitting that you have a problem? Well I have multiple times and I still collect) The problem is… when I look at my boxes of Fiestaware, I don’t see 19. I see that I am missing 2. (the new ones.. Sage and Slate). Then I crack open my Hope Chest… and crammed inside are all of the fruit bowls for each set. Again, I don’t see 12 bowls, I see that I am missing 9. (including the 2 new colors). On top of my Fiestaware dishes, I have a completely different set for Christmas! Thankfully I have convinced myself that I only need the serving pieces for parties. I don’t have the dining sets. I know that if I buy one, however, I would be going down a very dangerous rabbit hole.

I have always had this “problem”. Another example is the crazy things I found while going through the attic. I have every Lord of the Rings character action figure… including the multiple versions of Aragon. (he was my favorite. I LOVE Viggo Mortensen. His photography is so cool as well!) Why do I have every single one? WHY? I remember obsessively looking for them at KB Toys in the mall, and saving my allowance to get another one. It was when I poked my head around mom and spotted the large container of Pepsi cans that I had to stop digging, in fear of what else I had forgotten about. (The Pepsi cans are from one of their campaigns when the new Star Wars was coming out. They had a different character on each side. I remember enlisting my friends to be on the lookout for ones I didn’t have.) What on earth am I going to do with all of those?

I went through my stuff with the good intentions of weeding through stuff and getting rid of things I don’t want. There isn’t anything left to throw away! I am at the point that I can’t get rid of anything until I know my next step. Everything has a memory tied to it. I know that sounds like a pack rat (and I guess I kinda am) but I really don’t have “junk” anymore. I had done a good job of really being hard on myself and throwing/donating things last time. My sister may get a few more clothes, but other than that I only have important things left. (and stuff for an apartment!) I am really ready to settle somewhere and have all of my stuff. I want to have my own space and all of my belongings. Somewhere to make my own. I am hoping next spring to make that a reality. I will be 27 and that is definitely the time to get my own space!

More memories, stories and random topics to come!