Trying to Get Back On Track

There is a very dire situation right now…. There are TWO colors of Fiestaware that I don’t have. Anyone think I am certifiably crazy? (perhaps we shouldn’t go there). I also discovered HALLOWEEN patterns!! Look!!

https://www.fiestafactorydirect.com/c-228-fiesta-happy-pumpkin.aspx?pid=186

I want the pumpkins, spooky house, and the bat patterns to intermix with my orange, black and white sets! Again…. Not crazy. J

I rocked at making dinner this week. Rocked it. Chicken again… because that’s what the freezer was full of! For the first time in my 26 years, I got to actually use the bread crumbs that the recipe called for!! Mom and sis can’t eat them, so I have been deprived of normal food. Having a hot dog with a bun was the best thing ever and a treat!!! Same with hamburgers! I grew up without buns L The plight of being the normal kid. Anyways… dinner was good. Next week I may go all out and try to make ravioli. I have a cute little ravioli cutter… not sure it will work but I think Im going to try. Be sure to check back for the tale of disaster. J

I got an email today… $1 off of a blizzard at DQ. I just stared at it. I used to forward them to Laurie. The default DQ store on my blizzard rewards account is the one in North East. It was sad to change it to the one here on Thousand Oaks. I printed it out and will have to take a trip to get a blizzard this weekend.

I shoved the half-finished quilt and its scraps under my dresser during one of my outbursts. Out of sight, out of mind. I’ll deal with it later. The cards have found a home under there too. I almost recycled them in anger, but shoved them in the bag along with the quilt instead.

I cant get home for the service. I found one flight that works… into Cleveland on Friday and out on Sunday. Only thing is that it is $300. With Thanksgiving, Christmas and going home already… I don’t really have $300 to go, plus a rental car. Not too happy about it, but nothing I can really do.

I failed at finding a sympathy card that I didn’t absolutely hate…. So I got a nice embossed blank card. The only problem is that I have to fill it with my own words, and I am now four drafts in and still not anywhere close. I want to say “Sorry, I don’t really know you all that much but your mom was awesome. It really really sucks that she died. Miss her tons.” Probably not the greatest sympathy card so… I continue to write drafts.

Everything is getting somewhat better. I still have a heavy heart, a hurting stomach and a sense that something is missing… but hey… Im surviving. If you know me, you know I don’t share my feelings so these last few blog posts have been out of my norm. I think Ill be ok now…. Until Saturday at 1pm my time when I officially am missing her service. Then Ill be ok until I go home. I think It will hit me then… no stopping by the CHQ to have lunch anymore. I think in an odd way this trip will help… and doing my own little Laurie tour/tribute will help me be ok missing her service. Hopefully. I haven’t spiked a diet coke yet, so I call that a win.

I have been rattled these last two weeks… and its kinda given me a push. I feel like I always hear people say that after a death of someone close, but I think its time to stop making decisions with my head. I have always analyzed everything, thought through everything, done the safe/responsible thing. Maybe it’s time to do something g a little more gut oriented… and a little more daring.