I love that
you never notice that something is wrong with your outfit until you get to
work. I pull into my usual parking spot, take out the keys from the ignition,
slip off my flats to put on my heels, and I notice I have white stuff on my
black pants. Did I notice when I got them out of the drawer? No. Did I notice
when I put them on? No. Did I notice when I get to work and there is nothing
that I can do about it? Yes. Seriously? (side note. I started writing this on
Tuesday, and Im finishing the post on Wednesday. I got to work today and did
not realize that my pants desperately need a belt. Im really doing well this
week!)
Below is
Yours Truly! I hate my face, but other than that its not bad. Allie looks
awesome and intense.. I just look white and weird! We came in 9th
out of 29 teams so I don’t think that is bad! My quads are still protesting
Saturday!
Mowing. I
cannot wait for the blog that I say “I mowed the lawn today” and I move on.
That will mean that my lawn mowing experience wasn’t near tragic (like this
one) or complete torture. Alas that blog post is not today. I waited until 7:15
to mow the lawn because it was so HOT out. Just to clarify… it was STILL HOT
out at 7:15, but I was ready to go with my motivation tank (this one was Train
Insane or Remain the Same. Catchy I know…) The first red-flag about how the
evening was going to go was the epic battle of the…. Gas can. Yeah. Pathetic right?
It’s the most complicated gas can I have ever seen. On Dad’s all you have to do
is open the cap, pick out the funnel thing, and pour the gas. Well I took off
the cap, tipped the can and nothing happened. (Yes it had gasoline in it. Im
not THAT dumb!)I notice that there is a nob that says “store” and one that says
“pour”. Ohhh clever. Problem solved… nope. I can move said nob. Instead I rip
off the entire nozzle accidently. ARGH. Eventually after roughly… 4 minutes I
finally get gasoline to come out of the dumb can. Then I proceed to overfill
the tank and gas goes all over me and my Croc. Awesome.
I finally
start mowing. 5 minutes in and everything is great (well lets be real… as great
as it can be push mowing). I had to close the gate so I could mow behind it, so
I stand next to the mower with my hand on the handle to keep it running, reach
over and pull the gate. The mower was too close to the gate for it to close, so
I pull it back and I RAN OVER MY FOOT WITH THE BLADES GOING. Oh my goodness I freaked out and ran away
from the mower (which caused it to turn off which was what I was trying to
avoid to begin with). My heart was pounding and my Croc has a scrape on the
top. The dogs were staring at me while I pranced through the yard saying aloud “I
almost chopped off my foot… I almost chopped off my foot”. Thank you foot guardian
angel. Your services are appreciated.
I continue
mowing thinking that I am really stupid for 1. Running over my foot and 2. Freaking
out. I move to the other lawn and the weirdest thing happens… I inhale
something up my nose. It was a piece of grass, or a huge pollen bit but
whatever it was hurt. A lot. It seems trivial… I am aware that all of you are
like “Whatever Anna. No big deal”. I cant describe the pain. It was like my
head and sinuses were simultaneously exploding. Both eyes are streaming, my
nose is like Niagara Falls and it feel like someone is smashing me in the face.
I again have to let go of the mower (Im barely strong enough to start it so I try
to keep it running) and I just drop to my knees and try to blow my nose. Argh
it was so bad. Again the dogs witnessed everything and just stared at me. Good
times.
Thankfully
the rest of the mow went well. Annabeth ever pooed in the part of the lawn that
I had already mowed, not the part that I was about to. We had to have a talk
about that last time, but she listened and only pooed behind me. Hey… I take
whatever wins that I can!
Quick side
note on America… When I was abroad I noticed the size of the cars and most
likely commented on it somewhere in my either my Rome or London blog. They are
tiny, practical, easier on the wallet and environmentally friendly. In America
for some reason we have to drive tanks, and its usually one person per tank. I
drive to work in an armada of Armadas. Its crazy. Why does everyone need such
huge cars? Everyone makes fun of how small my car is but I think everyone else
is crazy. If you are a Suburbian with your 2.3 kids, you don’t need a car that
seats 9 so don’t complain about the gas prices. Have you all seen the Armada??! My car could
literally sit inside of it. Literally. Its just another reason that the rest of
the world makes fun of us for consumption. Ok end of my bias and random rant on
car size.
Well now its
Wednesday and Im finishing up the post I started yesterday. I was just going to
post it, but I have a dumb story to tell from this morning…
My alarm goes
off at 5:45 this morning because I was too lazy last night to shower and needed
to this morning. I get up ON TIME and start my normal routine… Say hi to the
dogs, feed them, let them out and back in to shower. I am half awake staring at
my clothes when out of the corner of my eye I see movement… I look over and scurrying
(such an accurate word) across my bedroom floor was a spider. Ok no big deal
right? WRONG. When they say that everything is bigger in Texas they mean its
INSECTS. There are huge gross beetle things that I am not ok with and
apparently (as I found out this morning) MAMMOTH size spiders. Oh my goodness I
freaked. Of course the spider thought the bathroom was a perfect spot to head
to (because I needed to shower!) and it stopped between the doorway and the
shower. Right in the middle. It just sat there and seemed to say “bring it
Anna. Try to get past me."
I stand and
stare at it in horror. Its so gross that I don’t want to look at it, but at the
same time I cant stop. (and I want to watch its movements). I decide that I
have to take action so I go grab a Solo cup and return armed and with nerves of
steel (not really but it sounds better than reality) The stupid thing wasn’t there.
OMG seriously? With my feet in my bedroom, I poke my head in the door. Nothing.
I leap (yes leap) onto my cousin’s step stool and spot it. With my Solo cup in
hand I give myself a pep talk. Approximately 5 minutes pass and just as Im
ready the creepy thing takes two steps… up the wall. CRAP. The solo cup was out
(I should probably clarify that I wasn’t planning on trapping and transporting
this abomination of a spider. I was planning on putting the cup over it, a
package of shower curtain rings (they were heavy!) and leaving it there so I
could shower) So the grossest thing I have ever seen is on the wall by the shower.
No way am I showering. I slowly open the shower curtain, grab shampoo etc,
reach ABOVE the spider and snatch my towel and sprint out. A spider made me
shower in the spare bathroom down the hall.
After my
shower I am now running late. I creepy back into my room… no sighting. I poke
my head in the bathroom and ITS NOT THERE. Its worst not knowing where it is. I
leapt back on the stool, step on the top step and get ready while I am
constantly scanning my surrounding. I should describe said spider… it was brown
and furry. Yes furry. If it stood on a normal size Post-It its creepy furry
legs would touch all of the edges. Yes it was that big and that is NOT an exaggeration.
The body wasn’t huge, but the fact that it had thick furry legs was not ok. I have goosebumps
just typing about it. Actually Crystal and I googled it at work.. It was a wolf
spider. This is EXCATLY what it looked like…
Ok now that
I am all creepy crawly Im going to stop!
I miss you
all!
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